Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Life update

Warning : this is a long post about my life in general xD
A follow-up on things I mentioned earlier in some post..

The job : I love my job . I really do. I feel no anxiety about going there when I wake up and the time just flies by. Of course I don't want to spend the rest of my life doing dishes after old people, but right now it's really a great job to have until I find my dream pastry chef job.
(For those of you who doesn't know , I'm working as an kitchenassistant in a retirement home)
My colleagues are very wonderful also , so much laughter and crazyness <3

The two persons I'm standing next to is not my colleagues though, but we were on a sourdough course from work yesterday and there I got to meet lots of other people who work in the kitchens of Västerås and it was fun :D

Roller Derby: I decided not to try . I may sound boring now but I don't want to leave karate, it's one of the few activities that my darling and I have in common. And even though I find it hard to learn everything, I have been told so many times that I have the right body and agility for karate so I want to give myself the opportunity to be better :) I was thinking of buying rollers later and find some place where I can just roll around a little instead.

Mindfulness : You might remember that my psychologist recommended the mindfulness method for me . But it didn't work at all xD I almost laugh myself to death listening at the CD and become completely restless. Maybe I should try it more times than I did, I do not know, but I 've got so difficult to relax. O.o Also, I do not know if I am so happy with my shrink .. he's not the type who want's to listen to me when I talk , he wants us to try a lot of different methods instead when I think what I do need is to just talk my problems and thoughts away.

The wedding : About 3 months away now : D My dress I ordered is superlovely, I 'm really happy with it. (But you may not see it before my wedding, haha) It's like Lynoire said , sometimes the best purchases is the impulse ones! We've found a band to play the harp at the party and it will be so nice . <3 I 'm really happy that I will soon be Mrs.Wangenfors!

My depression: I've actually been doing quite okay . I thought I would feel worse by working more, but I feel so good at the job so I dont have to worry about getting panicattacks even . The strange thing is that while I generally feel better , I get anxiety attacks more frequently when I 'm out in public now? At least once a week I've had to leave a store or some other place and go sit in the car to hyperventilate . Really strange..


  1. Looks like things are going kind of good! I'm sorry you haven't been better since you started therapy, though. It's not easy to find the right counsellor for you :/
    Oh, by the way, I'd seen that necklace in your post about your birthday - which I didn't comment because I was from my phone - and I'm soooo jealous of it <3 you have a very thoughtful boyfriend.
    Ahh, I can't wait to see the pics of your wedding <3 it's like a real life friend was getting married or something XD!

  2. Det kan vara väldigt bra att ha ett jobb/ en rutin, för att inte alltid bara sitta och "dega" ner sig. Vad bra att det fungerar för dig.

    ANgående terapeuten och mindfulness: Var rak, ärlig och stark (om du orkar) och fråga honom om du kan få en annan sorts terapi. Fråfa honom om dynamisk t.ex. och bara kolla hans reaktion/ svar. Om han slår ifrån sig med armar och ben är han nog inget för dig. Du förtjänar den hjälpen du behöver - glöm inte det.

  3. I am a person who finds traditional methods of meditation etc annoying and they do not work for me, so I get that yours is not working. Some things don't work for people for a variety of reasons. Have you tried EFT? It's about tapping on certain pulse points while saying affirmations, it definitely works for some. It is probably called something else where you live. Here is where I read it if you are interested.

    also you really need a real psychiatrist who understands how you feel! Otherwise it is putting more unneeded stress on you. IT is good your job is working for you though. You are lucky to have a non- stressful job so it is definitely good to stick with it for the moment!

  4. Skönt att höra att det känns lite bättre. :)
    Det händer inte ofta, men jag kan också få panikattacker i stora folkmassor (butiker, på bussen osv.). Min "chef" på second hand har samma problem. Tror det är vanligare än man tror, men det är ju inte mindre jobbigt för det.
    Det börjar med att jag tycker det blir skitvarmt - det är folk och oljud överallt inpå en - sen börjar det.
    Jag hade nog bytat psykolog, oftast är det ju så att man bara verkligen behöver prata ut, ordentligt!

    3 månader!? Tiden går fort! :)
    Det blev verkligen perfekt med en svart kise med den looken. ;) Hade varit tufft med en mörk bakgrund!
    Felix lider nåt fruktansvärt när vi bär honom på rygg, han kan tycka några sekunder är OK, sen kämpar han för livet för att komma ner på golvet. Men man måste ju, de är ju så mjuuuka & gosiga! xD

  5. Interesting facts about you, Sabina. I guess we all have depression of different stages. I have such days when I don't want to talk much,and walk grumpily :)lol
    I consider though the best way to decrease anxiety and such is to be busy! I am sure you are on the right track, and happy you enjoy your work so much!

  6. I´ve been thinking in Rollerderby for a long time too. I like the way in which it fortifies muscles, specially legs. However, I am very light and delicate, so I am concerned about getting easily hurt. I´d like to be brave enough to practice! Or at least to try it.
    Anyway, if karate works for you, there´s no reason to leave it. It´s very nice when you have a natural talent for something, so don´t let it go :)

  7. It's good you recognize that maybe the psychiatrist isn't the perfect fit. Sometimes it takes a while before you find that special one you can connect with and who you feel can really help you. It never hurts to keep searching until you find that person. The youngest went through many before she found someone who was a good fit.

    I'm glad you still like your job and are having fun there! :o)

  8. Vad härligt att du trivs på ditt jobb och att livet i övrigt går bra :) Däremot tror jag att din psykolog inte är den du behöver. Den jag hade var superbra, hon började med att fråga hur det var idag och sen pratade jag och hon lyssnade, ställde lite frågor och så kom vi tillsammans fram till slutsatserna, och så fick jag tips hur jag skulle tänka eller göra i vissa situationer. Nu var det förstås inte panikattacker jag var drabbad av. Hör dig för om du kan byta.

  9. I love that you're doing better!! I also feel better when active. Such a cute photograph of you and your fiance. I can see the love!!