Showing posts with label my darling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my darling. Show all posts

Thursday, December 31, 2020

A review of 2020 in questions

Did you do anything 2020 you never did before? I got pregnant :'D also with the pandemic I think everyone did things they never done. Like staying home because of a cold, wearing facemasks and not meeting family and friends for a very very long time. 

What date from 2020 will you always remember? 6th august.


Did something make you really happy? My husband. I can't belivie how great he is taking care of me. I am truly blessed. 


Did you miss something in 2020 that you want in 2021? I think hanging at my favorite café with my best friend. Because of Covid19 we barely met this year.


What do you wish you had done less? Worried. 

Favorite tv-series from this year? Away was really awesome but also Why women kill

Best book this year?  Behind closed doors by Paris B.A

The secret AND The letter, written by Kathryn Hughes

Evelyn Hugo's Seven Husbands by Taylor Reid Jenkins.

Biggest musical discovery? I think I really discovered Taylor Swift this year!



Where you happier or sadder compared to other years? Both. I have been so so happy but also cried and worried a lot. 

What did you spend most money on? The greenhouse!


Something you wished for and also got? A baby in my belly!


Something you wished for and didn't get? A Baby Yoda? :'D 

What did you do on your birthday 2020? Eat pizza and watch movies with my husband. 



Biggest wish right now? That everything will keep going well with my pregnancy and that my husbands grandfather who is in the hospital will recover. 

What will you do different this year? Hopefully a lot of things will be different from life before :)



HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

Thursday, December 3, 2020

I'm pregnant! (week 5 to 13)

Hello, this is an entry in swedish. Because of everything I felt I wanted to write it down. But since swedish is my language I felt a better flow in swedish and I'm doing this for me. To remember all the good and bad from the beginning. I also hope that maybe someone who is scared finds this, like I did with other peoples entrys about the first trimester, and finds some comfort :) 



Skrivet fredag 7 augusti:

/Vecka 5 enligt Preglife appen

Igår fick jag reda på att är gravid!

Jag väntade hela veckan på att min mens skulle komma, det molade och värkte i livmodern sedan 2 dagar tillbaka. Men jag var samtidigt pyttelite misstänksam då jag verkligen inte varit mig själv under senaste veckan. Jag har varit hysterisk och arg, jag har varit sugen på både lakrits och kladdkaka. Jag har varit snorig varje morgon och kväll men inte på dagarna och jag har såklart varit illamående från och till. Så egentligen borde inte det positiva graviditetstestet kommit som någon extrem överraskning men jag var så chockad att jag grät, skrattade och tittade på det flera gånger för att försäkra mig om att detta är sant! Men jag har drömt många nätter denna vecka att jag är gravid. 

Jag har ju endometrios, så när vi bestämde oss i början av juni för att vi vill ha barn så trodde jag att det var en lååång väg vi hade framför oss. Jag var beredd på att IVF kanske skulle bli utvägen. Little did I know att jag endast skulle behöva genomlida en.plågsam.mens innan jag blev gravid. Nu  när jag skriver detta är det ju ännu så oerhört tidigt, och jag hoppas och ber att detta ska vägen <3 att den som bor i min kropp nu kommer vara en liten bebis som vi får träffa i april 2021! Så verkligen WOW KROPPEN! Så stolt över den haha, som har genomlidit både svåra cellförändringar och stora blodcystor och ändå verkar vara extremt fertil! YAY DEN! 

Oavsett vad som sker, så kommer jag aldrig glömma denna sommar. Allt vår planerande tillsammans har varit underbart! Jag trodde inte att det var möjligt men jag och min man har kommit varandra ännu närmre. 

Just nu känns graviditeten som ett lyckopiller. Självklart förstår jag att det kommer bli tufft och plågsamt. Och om det är så att det blir ett missfall som kommer det vara fruktansvärt. Men just nu känner jag mig glad och peppad :) och jag tänker inte trycka bort den känslan för oro. 




Skrivet måndag 10 augusti

/Vecka 6 enligt Preglife appen

Jag är så sjukt orolig. Över allting, Har egentligen ägnat hela helgen åt att oroa mig för utomkvedshavandeskap och missfall men just nu längtar jag tills ett graviditetstest landar i brevlådan för jag känner ATT JAG MÅSTE TA ETT TILL FÖR ATT TRO PÅ DETTA. Jättelöjligt egentligen då jag har både symptom och mensen inte kom, och jag köpte det dyraste testet ju... men ändå, Jag känner att jag verkligen vill det.

Jag förstår inte hur man ska klara dessa 12 veckor innan det är "tryggare". Så otroligt rädd för missfall. Hade aldrig kunnat ana hur detta skulle kännas. 

Skrivet 15 augusti

Denna vecka har varit så tung. Jag har haft ont från och till, min mage har helt kollapsat utan min nattmedicin. Mina bröst har börjat göra ont och jag fick sjukaste cravingen efter stenbitsrom. Så det jag har tagit itu med är att kontakta läkaren som gjorde min koloskopi i november för att fråga om det finns någon medicin jag kan ta som inte skadar fostret, just nu sover jag 4-6 timmar på nätterna bara för sen vaknar jag av kramper och det är väldigt jobbigt. Så han ska ringa den 26/8. Utöver det känner jag att det är dags att kontakta barnmorska, jag kanske kan få ett tidigt ultraljud för att säkerställa att det inte är utomkvedshavandeskap, det är ganska viktigt när man har endometrios. Också tog jag ett extra test i veckan, så nu har jag i alla fall inga tvivel kring om jag verkligen är gravid! 

Snälla lilla bebis därinne, kämpa på så vi får träffa dig i april <3 

Skrivet 30 augusti

/Vecka 8 enligt Preglife appen

Nu har en del skett sedan jag senast skrev, vi var på inskrivning hos barnmorskan och hon var så bra och förstående med alla mina tankar och önskemål. Imorgon går jag in i vecka 9 och ska på tidigt ultraljud i Västerås! Åh jag hoppas att allt ser bra ut. Jag har haft 2 tunga veckor. Jag kunde inte få någon medicin för tarmkramperna så jag vaknar 5 varje morgon. Graviditetssymptom som tillkommit är fruktansvärt illamående, större bröst och trötthet. Orkar inte ens träna, för första gången på flera år har jag inte tränat på 2 veckor. Orkar bara korta promenader. Och min man är så hjälpsam i allt <3 Trots att det är så jobbigt nu allting så är det självklart värt allting bara vi får en bebis nästa år :D Det får man fokusera på! 

Skrivet 19 september

/Vecka 11 enligt Preglife appen

Wow vad jag inte har orkat blogga alls. 2, nästan 3 veckor nu har jag bott i soffan framför Netflix, kämpat mot illamående, endometriossmärtor pga utebliven träning, och jobbig mage överlag pga ingen nattmedicin. Jag försökte faktiskt få hjälp av vården i början av vecka 10 för jag mådde så skit. Och läkaren jag fick träffa sa "du kan inte ha endometriossmärtor när du är gravid". Herregud blir så arg! Som tur var svarade samma sjuksköterska som på morgonen när jag ringde igen på eftermiddagen för att få en ny läkare och hon var så gullig och förstående, så hon kontaktade min barnmorska som skällde ut läkaren också fick jag en medicin att prova på natten och en medicin mot illamåendet. Tyvärr hjälpte inte nattmedicinen ett dugg och illamåendemedicinen blev jag så trött att jag bara sov och sov. Men i alla fall. Nu har jag då varit hemma i 2 veckor, men jag mår lite bättre nu senaste 3 dagarna så jag hoppas att kunna jobba igen när jag går in i vecka 12 på måndag! Jag hoppas innerligt att det värsta är över, så jag kan börja träna igen. :) 

Skrivet 28 september

/Vecka 13 enligt Preglife appen

Den efterlängtade veckan är här! Nu ska risken för missfall ha minskat med 65% och jag hoppas att jag kommer klara av att slappna av lite. Jag mår fortfarande illa, men överkomligt och det är mest intensivt på kvällen. Den här veckan jobbar jag heltid igen, förra veckan jobbade jag halvtid. Jag vet inte hur det ska gå faktiskt med alla smärtor och dålig sömn, men imorgon ska jag berätta för alla kollegor så jag kan känna mig mer bekväm, det börjar ju synas en hel del nu och jag vill kunna ha vad jag vill på mig :D På fredag ska vi till barnmorskan och jag hoppas hon kommer lyssna på bebishjärtat då, tydligen är det nåt som görs ganska ofta under en graviditet?

 


Efter vecka 13 slutade jag skriva helt plötsligt. Så nu när jag laddar upp detta är jag "redan" i vecka 22 <3  Kommer därför göra ett mer sammanfattande inlägg över trimester två istället för en dagbok.






Tuesday, December 31, 2019

2019

2019 started in such a great way. I got my new job in the church, my anxiety felt way better and we felt just so good in our house. 

But already in February the first hit came. Kira was sick. Her kidneys are damaged and this often happens to older cats. So this year we have been to so many visits to the veterinary. And she hates that. But after she started eating a special sort of food for cats with her disease her tests are all better, she is happy and gained all the weight she had lost back <3



The spring arrived and suddenly my body decided to start a war against me. I had extreme pains that I hadn't felt for years. And in weird places in my stomach. I seeked help at the gynecologist because I thought the endometrios had gotten worse. But it looked the same. 
After many visits and talking to different doctors I finally got an appointment for my bowels. It was horrible with the preparations but I'm so glad I got to see it. It's not cancer or something other dangerous. Its just my IBS, and even though it's painful still, I feel better knowing it won't kill me. And I also got some pills that are helping me a lot to sleep at night, not waking up with cramps at five every morning. 




It's been a fun year too though. A wedding, we have had so many Dungeons and Dragon meetings with our friend and I'm proud over everything I still have managed to do even do I'm in pain most of the time! 


And my job <3 It's so great. My collagues and boss are so nice and understanding. I'm so lucky! 




Mattias sister got a little babyboy a few weeks ago and that's one of the greatest things this year of course :D It's kind of exiting how the family grows. 




And my friend Johanna. I honestly do not know how I would manage life without her anymore, haha! I found her add  on a blog in augusti 2018, she was looking for a friend to e-mail with. I don't even know why I was looking at the ads, I don't know why I responded since I'm such an introvert honestly? But since that day we have written to each other everyday about everything so it was one of the best things I have ever done in my life. We are so alike but also very different. I hope that this is a friendship for life <3 

And last but not least, how did it go with my:

Wishes for 2019:
Plan ahead with food more so I don't have too cook every day (X) I definitely did this and I will continue! 
Create a garden with eatable stuff at our house (/) I tried but did not get very much to eat from it haha! Will not give up though. 
Always, try to worry less. It is really tiring to worry like I do over every small thing I can possibly find. I hope I can worry less in 2019 (X) Even though I still worry A LOT I think I have found a way to manage it better, so I still feel like I could say I deserve to put and X on this one. :) 


WISHES FOR 2020

Feel better than in 2019 ( )


This is the only thing I can come to think of and I hope I can check this in a year. :)







HAPPY NEW YEAR! 



Monday, September 30, 2019

August and september

I sort of forgot about my blog, I still have some outfits left I think, but todays entry will be a mix with outfits and what I did the last two months.


We had crayfish party? (kräftskiva in swedish) with my husbands family. I ate one crayfish, it feels so weird to crack their bodies up. O.O


I went to a pride parade with two friends :D 



I turned 31 :D My hair was great and also my cake!



We went larping :D





I'm so ready for all the autumn and winter cozyness now! And also, look at that cute ghost I got for my birthday :D 

Friday, August 23, 2019

2 outfits





My husband and me on a friends weddin :D I bought the dress for the wedding but I'm sure that I will wear it a lot. 


A recent outfit with one of the best dresses <3 

Sunday, June 30, 2019

New week - New outfits

This week of outfits :D


I love the pikachu print! I really would like to have more pokemon dresses, maybe with Eeve or Meowth! 


This black dress was one of my favourites last summer. And now I don't really like it? I think the past year I have gotten more comfortable in dresses and skirts with prints. But this gray dress is still a favourite though :) 



Yesterday we went to a cityfestival with some friends and I wore this amazing dress! 
I hope this movie works so you can see how it looks in the sun. ^_^ 





Monday, December 31, 2018

2018

I wrote a little review on instagram for this year, but I dont want to break the tradition of writing a long entry here with all my thoughts about it. :)

This year started with a lot of anxiety. It felt like I was at the gynekologist all the time becasue of the cervical lesions in my cervix. And also I got a cold. Again. I was sick on christmas the year before so it was no fun to have a fever again in january. Time passed by and I started reading Outlander! 2018 was really the year of Outlander, I was reading, I was watching the show and all my thoughts was about it for a while, could barely sleep haha!
In april I got the greatest news: I was finally free from cervical lesions! What a joy and relief. :D


In May I started looking for jobs in my husbands hometown. We wanted to move back to where his family lives after 8 years in Västerås. I also participated in a running event which I had wanted to do for years. But also I didn't feel good. Mattias was gone long days because of his work, we just wanted to move closer to his job but felt stuck because of my job. We went to larp and then summer was here. Mattias turned 30! My sister from Finland came to Sweden so we went to hang with her and her family and I of course was sick with fever again, puh. :( 
On our summervacation we visited a fancy mansion as birthdaygift for ourselves. Very cozy! 
When autumn came we started to be really stressed out over our movingsituation, I still hadn't found a new job, the house required more renovating than expected and I was so tired all the time so I carried not so healthy energizerdrinks with me.. 
So that was the time that we took the decision that I was to quit my job so we could move before christmas. I wasn't sad about it even though I loved my collagues. It felt like the right decision. We worked really hard with packing and fixing the house and 18th november we went. 3 weeks after I heard from a job I had been on interview for and I got it! So in a few days I start my new job as a churchassistant. So much has fallen in place the last month. I have often felt that even though this year was hard in many ways, this was the year we were supposed to move back "home". :) 
I love it here, I feel more free with all the forest and nature around, even the cats seem happier than in the apartment. I hope that my new job will be great, I have dreamed about working in a church since I was 13. 2019, I have many hopes for you. 


This is the stuff I want to accomplish the year of 2018:
- Try to do more yoga. I'm falling behind in my workouts because I'm so tired which affects my endometrios badly. Maybe instead of a rough workout I could try to to yoga the days I feel weary (/)
- Use that spagiftcard! (x)
- Be with family more. Sometimes when Mattias visits his family I'm to scared to go with. I'm scared that they will ask questions about my anxiety when I can't pretend to be happy. But I like going there. So I should remember that (x)
- Most important, use the money I now have on more fun stuff I really enjoy, visit the movies, go on a cruise, maybe go to Finland again.  (/)

I think I did good :) 

Wishes for 2019:
Plan ahead with food more so I don't have too cook every day ( )
Create a garden with eatable stuff at our house ( )
Always, try to worry less. It is really tiring to worry like I do over every small thing I can possibly find. I hope I can worry less in 2019 ( )

Saturday, September 1, 2018

Welcome autumn!

Hello again! 
Last time I wrote my summervacation was about to begin.


We went to Vingåker och visited my husbands aunt.

We also visited a mansion called Friiberghs, as a gift to ourself for both turning 30 this year, wihoo! 

Welcome gift, non-alcoholic cider, fruit and chocolate <3 

 



We ate a 4 course dinner, very weird for us who are not used to such extravagant food :'D 


Very beautiful and relaxing time! 


 
I'm really exited for autumn now. Larping, my birthday, halloween and possibly some otjer fun stuff happening!

 




Sunday, July 15, 2018

Summertime!

Hello! 
Time for an update! :) I think I should manage to at least make a entry once a month. 

So far this summer has been okay! Looking back at the past month I think that I actually are doing well with my promise to be outside more. 

Last weekend my older sister visited from Finland with her family. So we went to Vimmerby to meet them up. It was awesome though I had a fever so we mostly sat and talked. <3
I missed them already when we went to the car to drive home. 


What do you think, do we look alike? 

My sisters kids looooves my husband, haha! They go all crazy around him, I also think it's hilarous that they always are calling him "the old man" :'D Maybe it's the beard? 

 
On our way to Vimmerby my husband and I stopped in Norrköping to see the exhibition Avengers station. It wasn't that good so that was money not so well spent. 

In June we went to a beautiful beach at Ängsö Castle. If it wasn't so far away I would go take a bath there every other day. 

Aaand my husband turned 30! So I made a huge sandwich-cake.

This is from the day me and my younger sister biked our way to see the stones at Anundshög! Being the big Outlander fan I am I felt like it might be possible to travel in time by touching these cool old stones. Maybe? 




This is what the past week have felt like, me and my husband has been SO SICK. Not the most fabolous thing to have fever in this heat. I feel better now though so I hope Mattias will be well soon too. 


Congratulations, you made it to the end of the entry :D