A review of 2020 in questions

Did you do anything 2020 you never did before? I got pregnant :'D also with the pandemic I think everyone did things they never done. Like staying home because of a cold, wearing facemasks and not meeting family and friends for a very very long time. 

What date from 2020 will you always remember? 6th august.

Did something make you really happy? My husband. I can't belivie how great he is taking care of me. I am truly blessed. 

Did you miss something in 2020 that you want in 2021? I think hanging at my favorite café with my best friend. Because of Covid19 we barely met this year.

What do you wish you had done less? Worried. 

Favorite tv-series from this year? Away was really awesome but also Why women kill

Best book this year?  Behind closed doors by Paris B.A

The secret AND The letter, written by Kathryn Hughes

Evelyn Hugo's Seven Husbands by Taylor Reid Jenkins.

Biggest musical discovery? I think I really discovered Taylor Swift this year!

Where you happier or sadder compared to other years? Both. I have been so so happy but also cried and worried a lot. 

What did you spend most money on? The greenhouse!

Something you wished for and also got? A baby in my belly!

Something you wished for and didn't get? A Baby Yoda? :'D 

What did you do on your birthday 2020? Eat pizza and watch movies with my husband. 

Biggest wish right now? That everything will keep going well with my pregnancy and that my husbands grandfather who is in the hospital will recover. 

What will you do different this year? Hopefully a lot of things will be different from life before :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

2019

2019 started in such a great way. I got my new job in the church, my anxiety felt way better and we felt just so good in our house. 

But already in February the first hit came. Kira was sick. Her kidneys are damaged and this often happens to older cats. So this year we have been to so many visits to the veterinary. And she hates that. But after she started eating a special sort of food for cats with her disease her tests are all better, she is happy and gained all the weight she had lost back <3

The spring arrived and suddenly my body decided to start a war against me. I had extreme pains that I hadn't felt for years. And in weird places in my stomach. I seeked help at the gynecologist because I thought the endometrios had gotten worse. But it looked the same. 

After many visits and talking to different doctors I finally got an appointment for my bowels. It was horrible with the preparations but I'm so glad I got to see it. It's not cancer or something other dangerous. Its just my IBS, and even though it's painful still, I feel better knowing it won't kill me. And I also got some pills that are helping me a lot to sleep at night, not waking up with cramps at five every morning. 

It's been a fun year too though. A wedding, we have had so many Dungeons and Dragon meetings with our friend and I'm proud over everything I still have managed to do even do I'm in pain most of the time! 

And my job <3 It's so great. My collagues and boss are so nice and understanding. I'm so lucky! 

Mattias sister got a little babyboy a few weeks ago and that's one of the greatest things this year of course :D It's kind of exiting how the family grows. 

And my friend Johanna. I honestly do not know how I would manage life without her anymore, haha! I found her add  on a blog in augusti 2018, she was looking for a friend to e-mail with. I don't even know why I was looking at the ads, I don't know why I responded since I'm such an introvert honestly? But since that day we have written to each other everyday about everything so it was one of the best things I have ever done in my life. We are so alike but also very different. I hope that this is a friendship for life <3 

And last but not least, how did it go with my:

Wishes for 2019:

Plan ahead with food more so I don't have too cook every day (X) I definitely did this and I will continue! 

Create a garden with eatable stuff at our house (/) I tried but did not get very much to eat from it haha! Will not give up though. 

Always, try to worry less. It is really tiring to worry like I do over every small thing I can possibly find. I hope I can worry less in 2019 (X) Even though I still worry A LOT I think I have found a way to manage it better, so I still feel like I could say I deserve to put and X on this one. :) 

WISHES FOR 2020

Feel better than in 2019 ( )

This is the only thing I can come to think of and I hope I can check this in a year. :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

My year so far

It was a snowy start to the year. It felt so great to live in this beautiful place with all the snow even though it took a lot of work. After 8 years in a apartment one is not very used to having to..take care of the snow, haha! 

We found out that our little cutie Kira is sick. Her kidneys are damaged. So that's the worst part of this year so far. We have been taking many tests and she has special food now, she still seems very happy <3 So I hope we still have a long time left with our baby. 

Luna LOVES it here. The freedom for her, running around in the garden. No cars or trains nearby. 

I have been feeling so much better mentally as well since the move. I feel more calm, not as much anxiety.  

Sadly I don't feel as well in my body. My endometrios seems to have found new places to grow so next monday I'm going for an ultrasound to find out why the pain is so intense. 

It feels weird that 4 months already passed from this year. I think I want to do a blogentry about our house, we renovated a lot before moving here in november last year and it's soooo beautiful. 

I hope you all had a great winter and see you again soon :) 

Life plans update!

2014 I published a list with my life plans and goals on my blog. I haven't looked at it much since then. But today I thought I would give it an update, see if I can check anything and also if I wan't to add new things. :D

- Participate in a filming (of a movie or a tv-show)

- Get a tattoo

- Visit Disneyworld or Disneyland (preferably in December)

- Finish my book and get it published

- Learn how to swim

- Visit a spa (X)

- See a burleskshow

- Run a racing jogging (X)

- Have a voice role in a animated movie (This is a hard one!)

- Donate blood 

- Play the game twister but with real, sticky colours as dots!

- Hug Amy lee

- Work at a catshelter

- Visit Italy and try lots of food!

- Celebrate Christmas in another country

- Learn how play the piano

- Become a priest

- Have my own hens and chickens

Comments: Maybe 2 achived in 4 years doesn't seem much but I'm really happy I finally have visited a spa, haha! Last week I also ran that racing jogging together with a collague. :D 

I have tried to donate blood two times but first time my iron level was too low and now I have to wait 2 years because of my cervical lesions.

And I don't know if a really wan't a tattoo anymore?

I really really want to learn how to swim! Maybe I should just go a class for that or something instead of pressuring my husband about it.  

UPDATED LIFEGOAL LIST 2018:

- Participate in a filming (of a movie or a tv-show)

- Get a tattoo (I will consider if I still want this)

- Visit Disneyworld or Disneyland (preferably in December at christmas)

- Finish my book and get it published

- Learn how to swim

- Visit a spa (X)

- See a burleskshow

- Run a racing jogging (X)

- Have a voice role in a animated movie (This is a hard one!)

- Donate blood 

- Play the game twister but with real, sticky colours as dots!

- Hug Amy Lee

- Work at a catshelter

- Visit Italy and try lots of food!

- Celebrate Christmas in another country

- Learn how play the piano

- Become a priest/deacon/or just work in a church!

- Have my own hens and chickens

- Run the color obstacle rush

- Be a fosterparent

- Be good a taking care of plants and flowers! (Ultimate goal, have my own strawberries!)

I have added some and changed some! This time I will write this down in my calendar and really try to achive my goals. 

Challenge day 12, Favourite quotes

1. This first one is the one I like the most. Simple and beautiful.

2. This quote is so me. I don't know what I would do without books! 

3. I use this quote to remind me that I don't need certain people in my life even though we share the same blood. 

4. This quote I have on a mirror at home to keep me motivated for a workout. Sometimes it works and sometimes it don't. I really like the quote though. 

5. I think this quote is beautiful. Maybe it's silly but sometimes it really helps my anxiety to read little lines like this. 

Challenge day 8, A dreamjob

This a difficult question actually because it depends on how much you dream :P

On one hand I really would like to work with baking some day again, but if I were to be extremly rich I guess I would start a catshelter, what a dream, working with cats and taking care of them! 

BUT! In my wildest dreams I would be an actor of course, that job seems very very lovely, haha! 

Pictures from 2007 in theatreschool :D When I still thought that I would be an actor someday, haha! 

Challenge day 3, A fear

I am great at fear. I wish I wasn't. I'm afraid of SO.MANY,THINGS.
But I feel that I should pick one for this entry and I will choose cancer.
I have been afraid of cancer since I was 7 years old when my uncles wife died from breastcancer.
My last memory of her was when we met her buying ice-cream, she was bald and looked so tired and explained to my mum that ice-cream was the only thing she didn't puke after eating. Not so long after that she passed away.

And after that I have had this fear of getting that sick. I'm not afraid of dying but I'm very scared of slowly dying in pain. So that's my biggest fear of them all. I always check for weird bumps on my body, I don't know how many times my husband has had to calm me down when I think I have something weird going on.
The past 2 years I have been going to the doctors a lot because of my cervical lesions/abnormalities (don't really know what it is in english??) which makes my hypochondria sooo much worse. I'm so scared every time I get the letter from the hospital.

I really hope my whole life won't be like this, sometimes I'm scared that I will get cancer just because I have been "expecting" it my whole life. Yup, I'm a real psycho.

I challenge myself!

I want to blog more but I'm also too lazy to blog more.
The social media channels nowadays are annoying me A LOT.
Facebook: Random shit in my feed that a friends friend to a friend liked. And advertising. And advertising.
Instagram: For every picture from a friends there is at least 5 ads. And the "suggestions" that I couldn't care less about. And I hate the fact that the pictures doesn't come in the correct order. Instead of seeing the picture a friend uploaded right now I see a picture from 5 days ago at the top. BAH!

A picture of me and my cat to make you stay and read the rest of my angry entry.

There is this new app now called Vero which seem to be like instagram but without ads. But I don't feel like installing it yet. I'm so tired of changing the channel for my memories all the time if you know what I mean. Everything is so split up, the social media channels are only popular for a few years because everyone levaes when it gets too much advertising (as do I) I thought today that I wish there were a place that I could see what I did 5 years ago.I place that I always would have. I realized that I do have this. My blog :D So I should definitely start blogging more again and keep making memories here for the future me to read.

So I decided to create a blogchallenge for myself :D
Because March is starting tomorrow and to get used to blogging again I feel like I need something fun to do. So the challenge will be a 15 day of blogging kind of thing. (I thought of 30 first but 15 feels better to start with)
If someone wan't do join this with me do tell!
Let's do this, yeah!

Throwback January

A throwback to Januarys earlier in my life :D

January 2008. 

10 years ago I was a dollmum. :P Well I still am, but I'm not that into the hobby anymore. I sometimes miss it and wish I would be excited about it again. 

January 2009.

I was very confused at that time.I wanted change. Life seemed so boring I remember. That whole year turned out a mess just because I was so unhappy and bored.

January 2010

That year started out great, I got in on a education in graphic design that I liked, Mattias and I had found each other for real again. :)

January 2011

I was loving my green hair, baking a lot, working hard in school and looking for intership.

 

January 2012

And nooow I was in pastry school haha! Had so much fun, loved every minute of every day! 

January 2013

Unemployed, sad, worrying that we might not afford getting married in Decemberas planned. I was hanging a lot with my friend Andrea who also took this picture.

January 2014

I was working in a kitchen, just married and feeling happier because I had a job to go to.

January 2015

I was in a lot of pain almost every day, I had trouble with my new pills. It would be a rough few months I had ahead of me. 

January 2016

I was doing so well with my workouts, feeling great! Exciting things going on. 

January 2017

Tired after a very hectic 2016. But also happy and with very high hopes for the year. :D 

As of today, January 2018

Very tired and need to go to bed.