Thursday, March 28, 2013

Boy or girl

I was 9 years old when I persuaded my mum to cut my hair short.
I was pleased. It was easy to take care of and not in the way.

I had short hair for 2 years.



Then one winterday on the schoolyard 2 children
I did not recognize came up to me..
They asked me if I was a boy.
- Nooo, I replied suspiciously and began to walk away.
The kids went after me and shouted;

 - But why do you look like a boy then! You have boyish hairstyle and you dress like a boy. You're weird, why do you want to be a boy?

I was confused.
My favorite actris had the exact same hairstyle and she was a girl.. people probably thought she was a boy too. I did not want to look like a boy, so embarrassing.

I began saving my hair and the next winter I asked for a new winter coat because my other one looked like something boys are wearing.

Today, 16 years later, it's easy to see that it's still not okay for a girl to be unfeminine and boys who are wearing pink and like Hello Kitty are in the riskzone of being bullied.
I really hope that this will change before I have children.
Children should be allowed to just be children and find their own personality and style, regardless of gender.

11 comments:

  1. When I was a baby, a woman apparently refused to believe I was a girl because I was wearing my brother's hand me down blue clothes. It's so stupid! Not to mention, lots of girls wear baby blue! It's generally considered more of a girl's colour. I think it's unfair how little boys get all the skull and crossbone clothes!

    I have always loved skirts, so no one has ever confused me for a boy, but I think everyone should be able to wear what they like! I hate how shallow and stupid a majority of the world can be!

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    Replies
    1. Why is it even so important for people to be able to tell what is what. :/
      I hope we are heading to a future where it doesn't matter as much.

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  2. Why, why are people so prejudiced. So a little girl is wearing pants and has short hair, so what? Who fucking cares? What's the big deal? Why don't they worry about all the awful stuff that happens in the world instead of putting so much effort into keeping the genders well separated? That's so stupid.

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    Replies
    1. I know it's totally insane, no wonder young girls are so insecure when it's so important to look a certain way to be cute or pretty.

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  3. Hear hear! I actually have prejudices against people who are acting incredibly stereotypically feminine or masculine, it pisses me off.

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    Replies
    1. It's sort of difficult to not feel that way sometimes because they probably have not reflected on why they are as they are.

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  4. Sometimes I wonder if the people who say these things as grown men and women even realize how hurtful it can be.
    People as a whole, not just children, should be allowed to live their lives without the pain of narrow mindedness.

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    Replies
    1. No I don't think they do. Their reality is that boys should be boys and girls should be girls and that opinion is so strong for them so I don't belivie they can imagine something else.

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  5. I, too, have very short hair throughout my junior high school, high school and college years. Actually, this is the first time I've had long hair since the 7th grade when I had my waist length hair cut to a pixie. It wasn't a big deal in my house because my Mom always had very short hair. And it was pretty acceptable because in the 80s gals were cutting their hair left and right.

    Part of the reason I was attracted to Goth - at least originally - was its androgynous undercurrents. Guys wore lots of make up, dressed in velvet and relatively non-gendered clothing (some even wearing skirts). Gals wore long flowing skirts, oversized tops, etc. Everyone wore make up, corsets, boots, etc. and then fetish fashion hit ... Poof. No more. Goth women started to wear super high heels and become ultra fem, and the guys started to embrace this rivet head, industrialized masculinity. I don't understand it, I don't like it. With this forced genderization of Goth came the crappy attitudes. Ed got a hard time not to long ago for wearing make up. I was called a dyke because I was all grubby Goth. I don't like the way the subculture has embraced this mainstream gender stereotypes with the frat boy attitude to boot. It makes me sick to my stomach.

    Boy or girl, who cares.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *had* not *have*. I am typing on an iPad and I seem to make tons of mistakes doing so. Sorry.

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    2. I agree with you, it seemes like goth was more "free" before than it is now.
      My boyfriend has talked for years about that he would like to have one of these gothic skirts
      like this http://shango.se/kilt-with-zip-black-850.html
      but I think that we both are a little worried about how the reactions would be to that which is very sad :/

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